Letting Go

Written By Ilaria Di Giosaffatte

Welcome to Exhibition #8

If you are moved by a reflection or creation, consider sending some love, or leaving a comment at the bottom of the page! If you’d like to contribute to this collection, email us an entry at strangersbound@gmail.com.

<3

Mary & Ilaria

01 — A. — Kerala, India

this year i’m letting fear go.

02 — An Ode to my Non-Linear Moving on Journey —Priyanka Dangol — Arlington, VA

when a long-term relationship ends, no matter how hard you try to move on quickly, the shared history sticks with you, sneaks up on you in the places you would least expect

i made this personal piece in 2021 as i was getting through a tough breakup, when i felt like i kept running into the remnants of our relationship in the most mundane of things bringing me three steps back, every time i felt like i had just taken a step forward

a reminder to myself that letting go is tough, but letting go of what no longer serves you is necessary to open doors for better things <3

03 — What (not) to Expect in the New Year — Anonymous — Los Angeles

What is my New Year’s resolution? Last night, I realized I hadn’t been thinking about it. But today is a new day, a new year even. What do you know. 

Each year, like chiseling away at a slowly defining form of marble, we shed the unnecessary stuff from the exterior of our inner shape. Or we allow ourselves to be molded and re-molded as we grow and learn and let go of our dead skin. To be conscious of this process, to be an intentional agent of our own change, is a blessing. I’d like to think I’m beginning to develop an awareness towards it, but I’m probably not. 

I thought in the past I’d let go of the expectations I held for myself and for others. Now I find myself holding on more tightly than ever. Especially when it comes to how I see the ones closest to me. 

I most certainly have not let go of my expectations. This I strive for, again, to allow myself to perceive myself and others with less judgement—to live not in the expectations of a false future, but in the reality of an uncertain present. 

04 — Art of Passivity — ila — Schiphol Airport

  • I found myself sitting on stair-styled seating, waiting for my flight back home in a few months. In this rare, longed-for moment of quiet that had finally caught up to me after the chaos of prior days, I thought, What better time than now to explore the concept of letting go? So that’s exactly what I did. I opened YouTube and began searching. Lately, I’ve been drawn to short films, and the first videos to pop up were about Taoism—introduced by the philosopher Lao Tzu—followed by a talk from the self-described "philosophical entertainer" Alan Watts.

    Naturally, I fell down a wormhole of philosophies centered on a passive governance of the self, allowing nature to take its course. The idea of ruling by not ruling intrigued me deeply. As I continued exploring, utterly absorbed, a sudden tap on my shoulder jolted me out of my deep research phase. I jumped, startled, and turned to find a young man who seemed equally surprised by my reaction. He quickly apologized and explained that he’d noticed I was reading something about letting go—specifically, one of Alan Watts’ speeches.

    To my amazement, he shared that he was currently listening to a track on Spotify by Adi Goldstein called The Unspeakable World (feat. Alan Watts), which is, in fact, an excerpt from one of Watts’ speeches–linked above. How coincidental, no? He began sharing his personal connection to the concept of letting go, how it had become a cornerstone of his meditation practice, and how it had influenced his relationships, surroundings, and personal growth. There was such excitement and joy coming from him sharing what seemed like a rather deep and focal aspect of his life, with me, a complete stranger.

    He offered me a suggestion I’ll pass along to you, read the book The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer. According to him, it had fundamentally reshaped his perspective on life, as well as those closest to him. He also recommended exploring the teachings of Ram Dass, an American spiritual leader. What a unexpectedly profound, brief yet beautiful moment we had. We didn't even exchange names until the conversation was quickly interrupted by a phone call I had to take. I told him about Stranger Bound, the place where i was going to jt down this reflection. Who knows maybe he’s reading this right now. Does you remember that small instance, the randomly deep pre-holiday break chat? Serendipitous for me.

  • Let me summarise my thoughts on letting go from a philosophical sense: 

    • A need for control prevails in our lives, we have a tendency to exert our influence on the environment to some extent. We systematically underrate the natural influences that lie at the basis of our daily lives. We should try to follow the art of non-doing, or Wu Wei, where we don’t act against the grain of nature but rather in accordance with it. Taoism compares life with a river, that is in constant motion, once we are there we can swim against the current, we can hold on to a branch (not trusting the universe) or we can learn to let go, navigate through it, flow along the stream. 

    • A quote that I want to repeat comes from a Chinese proverb, “the tallest trees catch the most wind”. As a society we have collectively decided that high status is preferable, being at the top, standing out, seeking prominence (being a tall tree). This exposed us to more challenges and adversities for which Taoism advises against this excessive ambition, deliberately seeking the absolute bottom. By staying grounded, like a small tree shielded by taller ones, one avoids unnecessary conflict and thrives in balance.

05 — To have less & be more? — Mary — Washington, D.C.

The Letting Go Treadmill — The perpetual cycle of collecting things we eventually let go of only to collect more, and let go, again.

  • “The idea that we can have less and be more”

    I found myself scribbling these words into my journal last week. I don’t recall the source, but the words bounced around my mind for a time after.

    I faced it head on while sorting through some stuff I wished to give away. I find this process confronting. It’s like a face off with the decision making devil. A convincing one at that.

    Silly as it sounds, there are items that feel tethered to my past. They like to whisper about what was and argue for their ever present value in my present. It’s a little exhausting :).

    It feels much easier to let go of those things that no longer serve us. But those things we once loved? Or shaped the parts of life we cherish? Harder.

    Best of luck out there on the quest to let more STUFF go. It’s a battle I’ll fight on and a devil on my list to befriend.

    A work in progress.

  • “What helped you get to where you are today that you can now let go of?”

    This was the question spoken aloud by David Whyte on a Tim Ferris podcast I listened to. The question was not central to their conversation, but for me, it stuck. What helped me get to where I am today that I can now shed? That I may benefit from my letting go of it? It got me thinking.

    I love how the question brings kindness to the very thing we may need to let go of. It ties well to the opening of ‘Think Again’, a book by Adam Grant. In it he speaks about a Californian tragedy whereby a number of fire fighters who held onto their fire fighting equipment lost their lives. while those who dropped the gear to run, lived.

    In this instance, the fire fighters who let go did not do so because their equipment was faulty. Rather, it was simply because it would not be life saving given the circumstances.

    So, what is my ‘equipment’?

    This year, and with this question, I explored my own self-reliance. By this I mean my tendency to come to my own rescue in almost all situations. This ‘equipment’ that has served me tremendously well. In fact, I love this about myself. And yet, I’ve come to see what value can be created from letting go to some extent in this department.

    The opportunity in letting go is a transformation in the space I get to create. It’s permission giving. A space with more room for others to help. To be a partner in crime as I swim through the challenge.

    Like the fire fighters, I still love my equipment and I still plan to use it! But… Also like the fire fighters, I can see there will be moments it’s in my best interest to let it go.

    To me, letting go of stories means letting go of the one I made up about my own identity. That I am ‘self reliant’ has been as much a source of strength as it’s been a force holding me back from accessing the infinite other ways of being. The identities that are ever-present but around the corner of my choosing.

    <3

    What’s your equipment? What might be possible if you had permission to let go?

06 — Finally a post — Josh Bibbey — New Haven, CT

Hi my name is Josh :). I am sharing a video I directed / filmed for the amazing Chloe Belle, titled Finally.

  • While it might be one of the hardest things to do in that moment with questions on timing, perfecting, or questing through the endless rabbit holes of its’ worthiness? For the world? the harder question.. for myself? Is this the best I can do? Often letting go is the best you can do.

    The last one eats me up. The idea and then the many ideas that can flood a brain so quickly can make it feel like the blossom in your hands is already less beautiful than the one growing on the bud.  Maybe you know the flaws within your hands so intimately that you find more critique than beauty, and as you watch the new bud bloom as the one did before, quickly you find yourself picking the next flower.  Previous petals cast away quickly in this world.

    Finishing work can feel like this.  As the work concludes, as I playback a final piece after toiling with its many forms I view my flower fully.  I take in all its color, aura and sound. I share amongst my collaborators and we relish in the moments that we journeyed through to find ourselves here clutching and viewing the petals tightly, viewing at all its angles.  We whisper to each other in timid voices ‘we are bad ass’ as if a passerby could shatter our realities, gradually encouraging the confidence in one another to shout it louder and louder.

    Now finished, the scary part is letting go.

    I hope it’s good enough, it might not be perfect (in fact the posted version isn’t ).

    But without letting go a flower never fully blooms. Its community can never share its seeds, its sweet nectar never collected and distributed amongst neighbors.  

    Personally I am still trying to find how that beautiful metaphor can mesh with a place like instagram where I feel a freedom and also a corporate necessity to post my work.  But I think letting go of that wormhole of a thought could make things easier too.  I think instagram needs to be more authentic anyway.

    “Gotta let go
    And you’ll see
    finally”

    -Chloe Guillemette

    This project feels like a finally to all of that letting go.  The amount of intention I had for this video, the amount of plans that changed, my camera battery dying without a charger the moment we made the last train into NYC with 15 seconds to spare.  Carrying around about a hundred pounds of film equipment throughout the city overnight, while using about 10% of it.  Everything can change, but with letting go the old, we created what we have today.  I am proud of me, and proud of everyone that made it happen, and I am letting go of this project so I can relish in the next one fully.  

    Thanks for reading, love ya

    Josh

Artist @chloe___belle
Produced by Ryad Chaoui @ryadchaoui
Coproduction & instrumentation by Theo Lebeaux @theolebeaux

Special thanks to Charlie as well for all that you do to elevate our art @charlie_bolling

Director/Videographer: Josh Bibbey @Bibbeyswork

Actors: Sarah Lucibello @sarahlucibello — Lee Kromakode @lee_kromakode — Flora Nardi @florav.music — Eddy Figueroa @ejf98 — John Guillemette Jr @musing_john — Juanita Rainey @juanmraine — Jillian Colbath

Yay to my first Stranger Bound post, love you Mary <3

07 — Finally by Chloe Belle

It’s a song written to a part of myself that has waited a long time for this feeling. No outside opinions, no wondering where I’m at, just me facing the reality that the more energy I pour into myself the stronger my art is. And it’s okay to reflect and feel the nostalgia of the parts of you that we’re learning along the way, they’re still a part of the puzzle. The 7 year old me, the 12 year old me, the 21 year old me. They led me to a strong sense of self.

That concludes Exhibition #8. Thanks for stopping by!

Consider sharing a thought, reaction, or question in the comments below!

If you didn’t get a chance to submit something but would like to contribute to this collection, email strangersbound@gmail.com with your entry.

 
Ilaria Di Giosaffatte
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